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Star Dust Dirt Nap

by Kat Pearson

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1.
I just wanted to wake up where you are. You were my northern star. Just wanted to look into your eyes every night before I close mine. I Just wanted to know that it meant something more than a one night stand, I can't stand it. I just wanted to wake up where you are. There's a toll I've paid to trade my soul to the open road. I'm not tied down- I'm not locked in tight I needed to know if it would be appropriate to ask for more than one night i just wanted you by my side oh i drove you crazy i'm so sorry baby Could you listen to anything I've got to say? I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm sorry for all that I've done I'm sorry for all the pointless battles that I have won just to keep my head above don't you know I just wanted to love? Don't you know I just wanted your love? I just wanted to wake up where you are I just wanted to wake up where you are.
2.
Did you see me trading places with shadows? Did you see me making trades for sanity? And did you notice? Did you notice that I found you.. In all your darkness I saw you shining bright.. But that's not what you wanna hear right? Cause we're just too much the same. All wrapped up in pain You know what they say Misery Loves Company and I know you know I'm not alone. I know you know I'm not alone and I know you know I'm not alone Baby, I'm not alone, baby. I'm not alone, baby.
3.
Little Flame 02:33
Little Flame, Little Flame, Little Flame. Take your flame- and blow it at the waters. Be careful not to boil- you just want to blow the flowers. And if you try it just right, you can show them all how bright you are. Shine bright little flame, shine bright little flame. You will be able to fight your pain, if you give it your best shot. There was a fire burning, there were secrets we kept for ourselves so that we could keep living in our own hell Be careful not to boil the water, you just want to blow the flowers. Little flame, little flame, you can show them your pain But be careful not to scorch the earth. Little flame, little flame, little flame. Just don't burn the ones you love. Little flame, Little flame, just don't burn the ones you love.
4.
Cut The Ties 02:31
Now the power's out Do you miss me now? Did you figure out my flame? Could you feel my pain? Will this leave a stain on my brain? Will this drive me insane? You said give it time but I can't rewind, I can't find a reason why not to but the lies to cut the ties and I see your face I know what lies I know these things don't change they don't change Now the powers out Do you miss me now? Did you figure out my flame? Could you feel my pain? I see your face I know what lies I know these things they don't change Now the powers out do you miss me now? Do you miss me now? I see your face I know what lies I know these things they- they don't change they don't change there's nothing left I cut the ties. I let go, I let go. I let go.
5.
Hold it right there, You're not going anywhere. Hold it right there, you're not going anywhere. Hold it right there, You're not going anywhere. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't let me help you now look where we are Look how far you got all on your own now I can't even help you you're grown now. Wow, what a break down.. and holy shit are you serious? is this your face? Well I see you now, you're all broke down, afraid of change. Like it could bring you pain to share your space.. Why did you wait to show your face? Are you less afraid because of the puppets playing the game? Do you feel less alone when you're surrounded by the others just like you? We'll see how this goes when you're on the wrong side of history, we'll see how this goes. It's no mystery history repeats itself so watch your mouth, before I shut you down, before I shut you down. If you got some shit to say you should say it to my face so I can put you in your place aint no space for a racist aint no space for a racist.
6.
I'm so sick of playing dead I just want out of your fucking head I've been spending all these nights alone with your ghost and I'm so sick of playing dead I just want of your head I'm sick of playing dead I just want out of your head There's a graveyard in your head Of all the girls that I've been And all the places that I kept her, you burned. I'm so sick of playing dead. I just want out of your head And when you shoot you shoot to kill, but the first bullet it just missed me, it just grazed me, and then it hit me.. these flowers really weren't for me, it was just a disguise so I would let you inside. I'm so sick of playing dead. I just want out of your head. I'm so sick of playing dead. I just want out of your fucking head.
7.
White Light 03:01
When I do my healing I imagine a white light wrapped around me and in that white light it's all my love and all my strength and every kind word ever spoken to or about me just all in there loving me and holding me safely White light in a ring around me my former self looking in at all that hell white light, in a ring around me a different life it feels like a different person but still it's me all the same white light in a ring around me taking all my shame white light forgiving all the uncomfortable feelings and seeing them as what they are white light in ring around me calling me back into existence here and now white light in ring around me in the darkest time it's whispering all the kind words ever said to or about me and it's all singing all the sweetest songs that have ever lulled my raging heart white light in a ring around me in my memories protecting her forgiving her creating her accepting her white light. in a ring around me.

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A demo.

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released December 21, 2020

Kat Pearson, Andrew Sinclair. Special thanks to Vertigone

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Kat Pearson Kansas City, Missouri

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